In case you don’t take it, here’s the gist: You are shown several Asian faces, and are asked to guess whether each is Chinese, Japanese, or Korean. What I love about this quiz is that no Asian person I know has gotten anywhere near all of the answers right.

Of course, there’s a trick to the quiz: The creators of the website seem to have chosen some people with hairstyles and features that tend to be stereotypical of different Asian cultures than their own (like a Chinese person with angular, “Japanese”-looking features). This kind of stereotyping is common among Asians, which is why even they tend to do so badly on the quiz.

Which brings me to my point.

The very fact that you’re reading this blog tells me that you have a passion for Chinese women, and perhaps many other Asian women, perhaps because of how they look, or because of things you’ve heard about them, or things you know about them. This often goes deeper than, say, a passion for blondes, because a love of Chinese women often runs parallel to an interest in Chinese culture, and maybe even Chinese people in general. Knowing this about yourself, however, might cause you to believe that your general passion for Chinese women and culture will be welcomed by every Asian lovely who indulges your thirst for some Lotus juice.

If people in general are insecure, you can multiply that insecurity by 1,000 and still not understand how a Chinese woman will feel if she thinks you like her just because she’s Chinese. If you allow her to think that for even a second, in her mind you’re just another 色狼老外 (se lang lao wai, lecherous foreigner) who would be happy with any cute Chinese thing that comes along. While this may be true, you can’t allow her to believe that, or you’ll never get a taste of the elusive lotus.

So how do you quell her fear of being ravaged by a lecherous foreign devil purely because of her race? It’s easy:

• Compliment her on things that have nothing to do with her being Chinese, but rather the things that make her uniquely her. Good choices: taste in music, things you have in common, unique talents, how she looks at a particular moment. Bad choice: EYES.
• Never let your eyes stray, even (especially) if she’s surrounded by a bevy of her hot Chinese friends.
• Be very romantic, and any insecurities she may have started off with will start to melt away. She will start melting, too.

Stay cool in the pursuit of the Lotus, and it will prove to be a hot pursuit.

Until next time, my friends!

-L

Until just a few years ago, I’d always wondered why Chinese people were always so eager to capture every menial detail of life on film. Well, in my quest to deconstruct the complex Chinese mind, I have finally found the answer!

Chinese people are extremely pragmatic. They realize that if they’re enjoying something now, it’s probably something they would also enjoy in the future. So when they see something they like, their first instinct — an almost biological instinct — is to take a picture of it. Well, why not? It makes sense, right? You take a picture now, and you’ll get to enjoy it as much as you want for the rest of your life!

The problem is that looking at a picture is not the same as actually being there, in the moment, relishing the sounds as well as the sights. And when taking the picture gets in the way of enjoying the moment, that unrelentingly logical pragmatism can actually become a liability.

Well, astute readers, as you may have guessed, the pragmatism doesn’t stop at a fetish for photography. The Chinese, and especially Chinese women, are also very practical when it comes to choosing mates.

Chinese women do their best to be very diligent in ensuring that every relationship they enter into has a good chance of success. Obviously, success means different things to different people. But, be very sure that every beautiful lotus-bearer out there is, at every moment in a relationship, crafting a strategy to either reach her goals, or get out of the relationship. Hence, The Checklist.

Of course, I would never suggest that all Chinese women have the same dreams and desires. So, the checklist of each is as unique as she. That said, here are some standard entries on the list:

• How much does he make?
• What is his future like?
• Is he intelligent? How so? Which university did he attend? Is it ranked highly?
• Is he responsible and disciplined? Not some goofball who’s always making an ass of himself?
• What do other people think of him? What will they think of me if I’m with him?

Now, you may be thinking, “I know many American / European / African / … women like that! How is that unique to Chinese women?” The difference, grasshopper, is that with Chinese women, the checklist overrides all else. As with the spontaneous photo shoot, where she feels a responsibility for immortalizing a happy moment, the responsibility she feels for her own welfare far exceeds trivialities like whether you are handsome or have a sense of humor. In fact, when Chinese girls mention the attractiveness of a man or his sense of humor, they usually do so in passing, simply commenting objectively on a trait generally considered favorable, but certainly not important in a relationship!

Not that that’s a Bad Thing. The fact that they tend to focus on the long-term success of a relationship, rather than superficial things, makes them far less likely to cheat on you or let their emotions get in the way of constantly evaluating you and the relationship.

So be prepared to score high marks on the checklist. Find a way to market yourself as someone with practical value, and the lotus flowers will be descending — and ascending — on you, in pure lust for your massive… well, brain, of course!

Until next time, may this plant a seed in your mind, that helps you plant some seeds of your own…

L

When I was in college, I would often watch crazy foreign shows on the International Channel. I especially looked forward to the Chinese shows, although not for the reason you might expect. No, it wasn’t the invariably beautiful actresses or the dramatic plotlines I could never hope to understand– no, my friends, it was the commercials. Those comedically happy, colorful, and sappy commercials were full of pretty flowers and little girls smiling so wide you thought the top of their head was going to fall off. And those were just the commercials for phone cards!

As an example, here’s a pretty typical Chinese commercial, this one in particular for McD’s:

In stark contrast: Here in the US, one McDonald’s commercial features porn star Ron Jeremy.

The innocence of the Chinese is something it’s taken me years to understand. They’ll deny their innocent ways when confronted about it directly, but it’s etched deeply into their brains and a part of their culture.

So what does this mean when it comes to picking up Chinese women? Simple: Smile! Smile like you’ve just traveled back in time to get in on Google’s IPO. Smile a big, goofy grin and the switch in their brains will immediately identify you as one of their own. Once you have this down, you will have opened a new door into success with Chinese women. Now go out and practice what you’ve learned!

Until next time, my friends…

L

I’ve been happily married to a Chinese woman for almost a decade. Before that, I had always been entranced by the spectacular qualities of Asian women, and especially the Chinese. These mysterious, exotic creatures somehow manage to be beautiful, coy, delicate, yet at the same time intelligent, strong, and capable. If you’re anything like me, you are also amazed by the wonder that is Chinese women, and this blog is for you.

Throughout this blog, I will share with you all that I’ve learned about what matters to Chinese women, from an American perspective. I hope to not only teach you how to seduce Chinese women, but also make you naturally more attractive to these exotic creatures, because you’ll understand their culture and what matters to them.

I hope you’ll enjoy my posts. See you next time!

L